Starring: Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgard, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker, Tadanobu Asano, Hamish Linklater, Liam Neeson, Peter MacNichol, John Tui, Jesse Plemons, Gregory D. Gadson, Jerry Ferrera.
Director: Peter Berg
Rating: PG-13 (for intense sequences of violence, action and destruction, and for language.)
Running Time: 131 Minutes
Release Date: May 18, 2012
Home Video Release Date: TBD
North American Box Office: $TBD
Battleship Delta Productions, Bluegrass Films, Film 44, Ponysound, Hasbro, and Universal Pictures.
Written by: Jon Hoeber and Erich Hoeber.
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★1/2 (out of 5 stars)
I was right there with everyone. Laughing, snickering, making jokes about the cinematic version of a childhood board game that no one ever possibly expected could be converted into a feature film. Friends, fellow film critics and I speculated as to who would utter the line, “You sank my Battleship!” The trailer induced laughter. Is that Rihanna…in this? And…aliens!?!?!? Where did those come from?!? Oh yes, we all had great fun mocking the mere concept of a Battleship movie. As its release date drew closer, a strange curiosity seemed to form about what all of this was going to turn out to be.
Now that we have Battleship the film…all the mockery was justified. Not only is Battleship a bad film, but it is a aggravating mix of pseudo-comedy, alien invasion cliches, stunted dialogue, massive explosions and special effects, and shameless pandering. Running 131 unyielding minutes, Battleship is a Michael Bay-inspired film. And if you love those Transformers films, well then stop reading, Fandango your tickets, and go waste a day at the multiplex. For everyone else, let’s continue…

























