DreamWorks SKG and Paramount Pictures

Written By: Ehren Kruger, Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman

I’ll just cut to the chase. “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” is an atrocious, arrogant exercise in excess and hubris. In my mind, it embodies everything terrible about Hollywood cinema in this modern era. That it has become one of 9 films to gross over $400 million at the North American box office is a testament to something that I cannot rationalize. If the popularity of this film is that it is merely escapist entertainment, I suppose I can accept that; however, maybe I just expect more from my fellow moviegoers. Simply stated, “Transformers 2″ is a terrible film and should be called out for being such.

Picking up where the first, moderately entertaining “Transformers” left off, unlikely hero and Megan Fox boyfriend, Sam (Shia LaBeouf) is headed off to college and his relationship with Mikaela (Megan Fox) is at a crossroads. Complications arise when Sam discovers a shard of the destroyed AllSpark energy source from Cybertron, the planet which was destroyed in the first film. Things naturally begin to snowball out of control. The leader of the Autobots (the good guys), Optimus Prime, leads a military group who are comprised of humans and Autobots, with the prime directive to destroy any and all remaining Decepticons (the bad guys) on Earth. Eventually, another war commences with the Autobots and Decepticons fighting for control of Earth, and Sam, Mikaela, and Sam’s new buddy, college roommate Leo (Ramon Rodriguez), find themselves stuck in the middle of all the familiar and escalating chaos surrounding them all over again.

Blah, blah, blah. The plot of “Transformers 2″ is pointless and serves no real purpose. There are so many robots in the film and the action is so haphazardly shot, that it becomes rather impossible to discern the Autobots from the Decepticons; thus rendering the arc of good vs. evil obsolete. After awhile, I stopped trying to make sense of it and tried to guess when the next wave of destruction would wash over me. “Transformers 2″ is nothing more than explosion porn; namely, there is talking for awhile and then incredible special effects and explosions. Talking for awhile, then special effects and explosions. Wash. Rinse. Repeat…for ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY-SEVEN MINUTES!?!

What makes me so incredibly angry with movies like this is that the studios and filmmakers say they make quality films, but I cannot help but think they could care less as to whether “Transformers” is truly good or not. This is not a film; rather it’s merely a vessel for selling toys, merchandise, DVD’s, video games, and whatever else they can slap the brand on. So why should one care whether it is good or not? As a film watcher and critic, I demand better.

Michael Bay movies, by design, are loud, obnoxious, often impossible to follow, and strut around with the ego of being the coolest kid in the room. “Transformers 2″ is easily his most egregious offense. Much like that kid we all recognized and harbored secret hatred for in school, one day Michael Bay will get what’s coming to him. I have no idea what that entails, but my only solace can be that when “Transformers 3″ arrives with an even bigger budget and longer running time, people are so put off by this film, they stay away. It won’t happen, but I can dream, right?

• Best Sound Mixing

Should I See It?

YES

If you’re interested. This was a mega, giant, blockbuster success and its historic box office run warrants it a viewing.

You are a fan of big-budget action films, which are less about story and more about eye candy and special effects.

You loved the first “Transformers” film and don’t care what critics say.

NO

147 Minutes of nonstop explosions, loud noises, and incomprehensible action? You decide.

There are so many better options if you want to watch a big-budget, mediocre, action film.

Fox and LaBeouf are supposed to be the stars, but they are simply secondary to the action. They lack chemistry once again and are just as forgettable as the action exploding around them.