Rating:  

Starring: Selena Gomez, Katie Cassidy, Leighton Meester, Cory Monteith, Pierre Boulanger, Catherine Tate, Andie MacDowell, Brett Cullen, Amanda Fairbank-Hynes, Luke Bracey.

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Director: Thomas Bezucha
Rating: PG
Running Time: 109 Minutes
Release Date: July 1, 2011
Home Video Release Date: October 18, 2011
Box Office: $23.2 Million

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Fox 2000 Pictures, Blossom Films, Mid-Atlantic Films, New Regency Pictures, Regency Enterprises, Walden Media, and Fox 2000 Pictures.

Written by: Thomas Bezucha, April Blair, and Maria Maggenti; Story by Kelly Bowe, based on the novel “Headhunters” by Jules Bass.

I want to like and champion youthful movies. I do. Maybe because I have a pop-culture savvy 12-year old daughter and because movies and film writing and reviewing is such an integral part of my life, I want to enjoy movies which appeal to her interests. Distressingly, I find with each passing week and month, that these films may no longer exist. For films geared towards appealing towards young tweens and teenagers, I cannot recall the last one of these films I have enjoyed.The latest offender is “Monte Carlo”, a vapid and insipid adventure film that essentially encourages young girls to be self-centered, embrace any and all urges to avoid listening to a rational line of thought, and as long as a hot man is around, life will always turn out for the better. I know, I know, I know. This film is nothing more than an innocent fantasy for tween and teenage girls to enjoy. Well, alright. Try this plot on for size and tell me there is nothing alarming about what it’s selling here.

Living in Texas, Grace (Selena Gomez) is on the cusp of high school graduation and works in a small-town diner alongside her best friend Emma (Katie Cassidy). Frequented by many of Grace’s old classmates, she is subjected to abuse and ridicule and because she needs the money and has a graduation trip to Paris lined up, she simply deals with it. Emma is also accompanying Grace on her vacation and at her graduation ceremony, Grace is interrupted in her valedictory speech by her late arriving stepsister, Meg (Leighton Meester). Grace cannot wait to get out of town fast enough.

At home that same night Grace’s mother and stepfather (Andie MacDowell and Brett Cullen) drop a major bombshell. Pulling some strings, Emma and Grace will now be accompanied by Meg on their trip to Paris, in an effort to finally connect and bond as part of the new family Mom and Stepdad hope to integrate. Met with anger and frustration, the girls nonetheless accept their circumstances and fly far, far away to Paris. I should note that Grace does have some grounds for anger here. Apparently, she has saved up for years to go on this trip and she and Emma have talked it about for a really long time. Does kinda suck to have the rug pulled out from under her in that way. Anyhow, I digress…

Paris is glorious but a low rent hotel disappoints the girls and a boring by-the-numbers tour causes the girls to lose sight of their time and their tour bus. Left on their own, they wander into a first-class luxury hotel and Grace is mistaken as a carbon copy lookalike of British socialite, Cordelia Winthrop Scott (also played by Gomez). Afforded all the privileges of royalty, Grace, Emma, and Meg play along and are ushered into a breathtaking suite, given the spoils of celebrity, and begin to revel in their unlikely situation. The girls agree to live it up for only the night, planning to leave the next morning and return to their original hotel room. Then, the phone rings the next morning and Ms. Scott is apparently late in boarding a private jet to Monte Carlo, scheduled to take part in a charitable fundraiser. And wouldn’t you know it – our plucky little girls have wandered into a case of mistaken identity and fly off for continuing worldly adventures.

I understand that to tear down “Monte Carlo” is pointless and unnecessary. It’s a harmless kids movie, right? Well, I am not so sure about that. As Grace, Emma, and Meg arrive in a place they never should be at in the first place, in a country no one knows they are in, they all meet arrestingly handsome 20-something men; one of which must accompany Grace/Cordelia in her stay, another who is a wealthy Prince, and a drifter who not only finds the girls in Paris but also in Monte Carlo?!? That guy is likely stalking them and yet we are led to believe his meetings are simply by chance and/or kismet. Um, no.

And on and on it goes. The girls partake in the finer things in life and Grace is forced to play in a polo match where Cordelia’s actual aunt (Catherine Tate) starts to realize Grace may not be who she says she is. Meg falls head over heels with that never-ever-buttons-his-shirts creeper named Riley (Luke Bracey) and then Emma throws herself at an elite Prince’s son, who merely wants to drive his sports car everywhere. Her interest in the Prince is strictly material, but is willing to go there because she endured an abrupt breakup with longtime boyfriend Owen (“Glee”‘s Cory Monteith), when he asked her not to go.

And OMG you would never believe it. Owen feels bad and misses Emma and wants to apologize. And then, OMG, he buys a passport and then…he drives…to…the…airport! Yeah, yeah, he does. I know right? Wait, but guess what. He is FLYING TO PARIS!!! Except, wait, isn’t Emma now in Monte Carlo, and, like, hanging out with the Prince guy? He’ll never find her, will he? Will he?

So yeah, I detest “Monte Carlo”. The film is insulting, says nothing empowering or beneficial at all, and truly believes that the most innocent of Selena Gomez fans will fall for this hook, line, and sinker. If it wants to be a trivial, harmless and disposable kids movie, then those run on a daily loop on The Disney Channel and ABC Family. Here we have a healthy budget and some real thought was put into making this film feel bigger and grander. Director Thomas Bezucha (The Family Stone) tries to stack in travelogue montages and some beautiful set pieces to make this thing seem warm, safe and endearing, but the screenplay by Bezucha, April Blair, and Maggie Maggenti is a soulless and dangerous mess. Adapted from an adult novel about four single Texas women who decide to vacation in Monte Carlo with the sole intent of finding rich men to marry them, I cannot think of a better story to adapt for impressionable young girls.

What a dangerous and offensive mess of a film this is. Selena Gomez has obvious talents as a Disney-trained comedic young actress, and clearly here, the camera loves her. So, I can hold out hope that once she walked the Red Carpet for the film’s premiere and saw this in its final form, she pulled a diva move and came close to canning her agent and/or her entire team. Simply stated, this film did her, or anyone associated with it, no favors whatsoever.

Should I See It?

YES

Hard to find a reason. It could be worse I suppose in terms of its content and Selena Gomez and teen pop culture fans will be interested in it.

As deplorable as the message may be, there is no nudity, next to no violence, and minimal cursing. So, that’s good for the target audience and parents.

Selena Gomez shows some signs that she could be a talented actress in the years to come. She needs to distance herself from this type of dreck however…and fast.

NO

Read above.

The message here is alarming. The decisions made by these girls are self-serving, patently dangerous, and essentially champions a belief that lying and scheming to get what you want in life is not really all that bad. When the lies they tell come to a head, a simple explanation makes all the trouble you’re in wash away with next to no consequences and life remains good! Ugh. Why do these movies exist?