Rating:  

Overnight Films, Troublemaker Studios, and Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation.

Written by: Robert Rodriguez and Alvaro Rodriguez.

Within the first five minutes, there are about a dozen murders and beheadings, a young teen is shot, a fully nude woman is executed gangland style and a man’s wife is decapitated right in front of him. Welcome to “Machete”, the latest film by Robert Rodriguez and another entry into the exploitation and grindhouse genre that Rodriguez and good friend, Quentin Tarantino, attempted to bring back with their double-feature, “Grindhouse” in 2007. Introduced as one of the several fake movie trailers which preceded the “Grindhouse” experiment, “Machete” gained such a huge cult following that Rodriguez decided to flesh out the details and turn the fake movie into a real one. And he went all in on one of the most audacious, daring, and carefree films of recent memory.

“Machete” is polarizing theater as it is repulsive, shocking, and yet completely entertaining at the same time. Rodriguez and co-director Ethan Maniquis have made a film which holds up a metaphorical middle finger from beginning to end. Either you laugh and take in the unrelenting sensory assault of blood, gore, and humor or sit there in disgust, wondering how anyone in their right mind would find something like this entertaining.

There is a basic story here and to appreciate what Rodriguez and his cousin, Alvaro Rodriguez, have written here, would take a brief understanding of the exploitation genre’s misguided purpose. More often than not, the exploitation pictures of the 1970′s would take a hot button, topical issue and write around that as a means of trying to legitimize their rather trashy script and story. Here, not all that surprisingly, the topic of illegal immigration is at the core of “Machete”.

Machete Cortez (Danny Trejo) is a former Ex-Federale who in the years since his family was slaughtered, now masquerades as a day laborer near the Texas-Mexico border. He is seemingly unable to find work until a chance encounter leads to him winning an alley fight and a nice little $500 prize. Observing the fight is Booth (Jeff Fahey), a shady figure who picks up Machete and after listening to Machete’s prices for handiwork, calmly asks him if he has ever killed a man. Machete, hired for $150,000, is positioned as the killshot in a plot to assassinate Senator John McLaughlin (a game Robert DeNiro). McLaughlin has a fervent anti-immigrant political view and his desires to eradicate illegal immigrants within his jurisdiction would lead to the loss of hiring the undocumented for cheap labor. When Machete sees a second sniper at the scene of the assassination, he realizes that he has been framed and escapes despite being shot twice. The hunt is on – Machete is on the run from Booth, Booth’s boss, Torrez (a ridiculous Steven Seagal), and an endless stream of thugs all hired to kill Machete once and for all.

Look…”Machete” really has to be seen to be understood. Rodriguez and Maniquis have made arguably the most joyful and breezy bloodbath of all time. “Machete” is flat out hilarious in parts; sometimes because of the comedy and sometimes because of the sheer inventiveness of the thing. I am not sure if kudos should be lauded to the Rodriguez cousins on the script, but I now believe that we have exhausted the list of ways people can die on screen. Within this film, and perhaps only ever within this film, I found myself tipping my hat to the creativity in how thugs are picked off one by one by Machete. And please forgive me but I just cannot stop thinking about the poor thug in the hospital and Machete’s ability to utilize him to leap out of a window. If you see it, you know what I mean. What a way to go…

Now…as I say that, let’s flip the coin. For some, maybe many, this movie will be the cinematic equivalent to a peep show; violence for violence sake with no redeeming qualities and in some respects, that is a completely merited view. This is niche entertainment and a great number of people are not going to find this enjoyable at all. While I bought into the sheer silliness of it all, the tolerance some have for near constant violence will be off-putting, disquieting, and may force some people to leave the theater in a huff or remove the DVD or Blu-Ray in a matter of minutes – perhaps even crushing it under their feet. But to be fair, Rodriguez never hides the fact that this is straight out of the gutter – a place this movie has lived the entire time.

Perhaps what is most appealing about this whole thing is that at 66-years young and after nearly 200 feature film appearances, this is Danny Trejo’s first starring role. He is simply awesome in the role. With his leather-beaten face and monotone uttering of maybe 100 lines of dialogue in total, he is captivating. Naturally, he beds every woman he meets because despite appearances, he is irresistible. And Trejo’s natural charisma and near smile throughout the entire movie is refreshing. This twisted and deranged movie is simply perfect for him and strange as it sounds, I loved seeing a movie finally built around Trejo and seeing him deliver in every moment he is on screen.

The film has inspired stunt casting. Jessica Alba is the border agent who falls for Machete’s charms and offers to help him become legit. Michelle Rodriguez is great as a taco cart owner to the public, but secretly the leader of The Network, designed to help undocumented immigrants find a way of life in the US. Jeff Fahey is appropriately terrible as Booth. Robert DeNiro is here to have some fun. Don Johnson is despicable and vile as a vigilante who sits at the border picking off people trying to cross. Steven Seagal is as bloated and one-note as ever as the villainous Torrez. Lindsay Lohan gleefully makes fun of herself to a large degree as Booth’s aberrant daughter, April. Cheech Marin is terrific as Machete’s brother, Padre, a preacher who fashions crosses out of security cameras and rigs the confessionals in his church in such a manner that the holy cross lights up on the side of his and his confessor’s head. Daryl Sabara, one of Rodriguez’s “Spy Kids” shows up here as well.

So…take this for what it is. Drenched in blood, with inspired humor and an ego about itself, “Machete” is an assault on the senses and a film I am slightly ashamed to admit I enjoyed as much as I did. It starts to wobble in the third act but if you buy in, or have the willingness to see where it goes, “Machete” will reap great rewards. And then again, you may end up looking at the person who took you to see this, or put in the DVD for you, in a completely different light.

Should I See It?

YES

See above.

Danny Trejo. This is his moment and he is ready for his closeup. He owns this movie and this role and Rodriguez and Ethan Mainquis smartly let him just do what he wants with the role.

If you loved or even liked Rodriguez and Tarantino’s “Grindhouse” movie, you have been waiting for this. And the good news is that it is much better than those movies put together.

The movie is funny, shocking, and so ridiculous that it never wants to be taken all that seriously, even with its timely political bent.

NO

See above.

Every villain, save two I can think of who are spared, die pretty terribly. It is all given to you unflinchingly and will deter many a viewer for wanting to stick with this.

The criticism that Robert Rodriguez is an arrogant, self-indulgent filmmaker will not be quieted here. Haters of Rodriguez have a bold new exhibit to use in their case against him.

How much is too much? Do audiences really want the throwback grindhouse film in 2010? What is the point of any of this? Questions many a viewer will think of while watching this.