Rating:  

Temple Hill, Relativity Media, Screen Gems and Sony Pictures Releasing.

Written By: Jamie Linden, adapted from the novel by Nicholas Sparks.

Robust in melodrama and cringe inducing plot turns, “Dear John” is yet another Nicholas Sparks adaptation, which falls flat on the big screen.

Channing Tatum and Amanda Seyfried star as John and Savannah, lovers who meet on a spring night in Charleston, South Carolina and fall madly in love – literally at first sight. John is home on a two-week leave from the Army and is set to go back on a tour of duty. Savannah is spending spring break with friends and helping rebuild a home destroyed in a recent hurricane.

Through the years, John and Savannah exchange letters back and forth and find their relationship strained to the breaking point when John re-ups for more and more tours of duty; heightened, of course, by the events of 9/11. Yes, that’s right. Nine. Eleven.

But wait…John and Savannah do not just deal with the 9/11 terrorist attacks. They also endure family members and close friends battling abandonment issues, commitment worries, and naturally, in true Nicholas Sparks tradition, mental illness, terminal medical conditions, the sacrifice of dreams, jealousy, anger, heartbreak, and several other convenient and cliched screenplay tricks and devices. over the course of seven years (!), they exchange letters and oh, those letters. Those slight, vapid letters which John and Savannah live for month after month and year after year because, well…the movie requires them to.

Dislocated from reality, trivial, and vacuous every time it tries to connect or deliver its “message”, “Dear John” squanders an engaging first 20 minutes or so until it becomes laughable. The film dovetails off a cliff trying to wrap up all of its message and plot, especially when John attempts to connect with a father he does not seem to like all that much and Savannah makes a sacrifice that is arguably hollow and mean-spirited.

Amanda Seyfried is a terrific actress but even she cannot salvage the film. Oscar-nominated veteran character actor, Richard Jenkins (The Visitor) plays John’s father, whose condition and affliction is reduced to little more than words on a page which move the story along.

Which brings me to Channing Tatum.

He of the one or two expressions, monotone voice, and chiseled good looks. Honestly now…Channing Tatum’s John is also the dancer, Tyler, in “Step Up”, soccer player Duke in “She’s The Man”, or embodied in every other performance he has given to date. We eventually will get some range from him in some movie somewhere, right?

Films which rely on other people’s tragedy and loss to make their main character(s) understand something about themselves are really the worst kind of films. Not only are they devoid of much thought, but they also tend to lull people into believing that they are feeling something important and/or moving. “Dear John” is just the latest in a long line of on-screen manipulation.

Perhaps it worked well as a book, but as a film, “Dear John” is laughable in its audacity, insulting in its message, and as flimsy as the stationary John and Savannah send back and forth to one another.

Should I See It?

Channing Tatum is again shirtless and magazine model ready for his closeup. For many, that’s enough.

Amanda Seyfried and Richard Jenkins. Two great actors trying all they can with a simple and incomprehensible screenplay.

Nicholas Sparks adaptations are a must for you.

This is a love story which exists for the purposes of delivering bigger and grander messages. Even if you hang with it longer than I did, at some point you will throw up your hands and feel cheated.

It trivializes 9/11. Sorry, it just does. I am not opposed to using the tragedy as a plot point but John and Savannah’s big decision relationship talk is not it, I am afraid.