2010: The 10 Worst Films of 2010

There is little that should be said about these terrible, terrible films. And to think there were many more I could throw on this list. During each one of these, I questioned whether or not this new endeavor in film writing was worth it. Being a glutton for punishment and one who possesses an unwavering excitement whenever any movie’s opening credits start, I endured them.

One more time…here are the worst of the worst of what I saw in 2010…

THE 10 WORST FILMS OF 2010

1. Sex And The City 2. The most insulting, offensive, out of touch, and mean-spirited film I have seen in years. From its first moment to its last, there is not one likable quality present in its bloated and unnecessary 146 minute running time. Everyone associated with it should be ashamed of themselves.

2. The Last Airbender. The engines finally cut out and the M. Night Shyamalan plane crash-landed in a fiery heap. I wrote a professional obituary to open my review of Shyamalan’s career after seeing it.

3. Legion. The spider-demonic grandma movie. The worst plan God ever devised to take back humanity can be found in this laughable debacle, which would be best reserved to an old Mystery Science Theater or more current Rifftrax program.

4. Furry Vengeance. Brendan Fraser and a series of woodland animals who attack him for wanting to develop commercial property in their natural habitat. If the frequent animal defecation humor and Fraser’s pratfalls don’t warm your heart, there’s a “Save the Planet” eco-message as well! Of course there is.

5. A Nightmare On Elm Street. I don’t know why this was remade or why the decision was made to remake it in a nastier and more offensive “Elm Street” premise. In 2010, being a child murderer just isn’t enough backstory to Freddy Krueger, we need to make him a child molester as well? Just the dirt worst.

6. The Bounty Hunter. If you would like to see the definition of “phoning it in”, look no further than Gerard Butler and Jennifer Aniston here. I have no idea what their behind the scenes relationship may have been nor do I care. On screen, few tandems could not generate less chemistry than these two in this confounding action/comedy/love-hate romance.

7. Jonah Hex. A big-budget disaster, “Jonah Hex” is a landfill of half-realized ideas and half-hearted performances. There is no focus, no direction, and talent like Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, Michael Shannon, and others, are left to flail around in a boring, pointless nothing of a film. Megan Fox’s turn as a prostitute is the definition of wooden and stilted acting.

8. Vampires Suck. There is nothing funny to be found whatsoever in “Vampires Suck”, the latest “parody” film from Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, the dolts who have delivered and directed the following: “Date Movie”, “Epic Movie”, “Meet The Spartans”, “Disaster Movie”, and this one. Combined – combined – those films have a total Tomatometer rating of 14%. As in FOURTEEN?!?! This attempt to mock the “Twilight” series can be found in funnier and more original versions via tens of thousands of “Twilight” fans’ YouTube pages, where 3-4 minute uploads do everything this idiotic film fails to accomplish in 80 painful minutes.

9. Lottery Ticket. For 20 minutes, “Lottery Ticket” is an interesting film. Hip-hop star and lead actor Bow Wow leads a rich and somewhat impressive ensemble cast in a film that documents what happens when a poor teenager, living with his grandmother, win hundreds of millions of dollars in the state-run lottery. Of course, the movie loses its appeal when the signature moment transpires. What begins as a contemplative and character-driven film devolves into slapstick comedy, false sentiment, introduces a silly romantic/cheating triangle kind of thing and concludes with an unfathomable mob and organized crime subplot. What a waste.

10. Kick-Ass. Yes there are worse films than this one. 9 other films are in front of it, and “Charlie St. Cloud”, “Dear John” and “Remember Me” kept begging me for inclusion here. But if I may address “Kick-Ass” for a moment: An 11-year old girl assassin who kills with no remorse and curses like the foulest of sailors is not funny, edgy, or groundbreaking. “Kick-Ass” is rather terrible from start to finish and while it features a breakout performance from Chloe Moretz as the now (in)famous Hit-Girl, there is little else of merit here. “Kick-Ass” is arrogant, abrasive, and a transparently obvious movie that tries to be strong and edgy in its violence, language, and imagery, but comes off as desperate, stupid, and empty. People embraced this and I have no idea why. I watched it twice convincing myself that I was missing something. But no – in a rare moment of snobbery, I firmly believe that I am right and you, if you liked and/or loved this, are plain wrong. There were worse films in 2010, but few were as off-putting as this thing.

10 OTHER FILMS I REALLY DIDN’T LIKE AND/OR HAD TO ENDURE:

“Charlie St. Cloud”, “Dear John”, “From Paris With Love”, “Grown Ups”, “Killers”, “Letters To Juliet”, “Marmaduke”, “Remember Me”, “The Spy Next Door”, “Valentine’s Day”.